


Tell me you love me

by SakuraHikari



Category: X Company (TV)
Genre: F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraHikari/pseuds/SakuraHikari
Summary: Alfred and Aurora have to persuade the Nazi Franz Faber to change his loyalty and make him help them. But, before that, the spies have to clarify what they really feel about each other.This songfic was written based on Alfred's POV, showing Aurora through his eyes.I can understand her as no one does, seeing her colors, the taste of her voice and the music in her gestures. I can know her as no one does and I still respect her, seeing her strength and her weakness, seeing her humanity though she wants to be a tough-minded, resilient and brave person, but I know her with her fears, without walls that hides her from me, that hides who she really is.I know when she denies she loves me, she is just trying to protect herself from the grief of another possible loss.(...)“Would it cross the line for me to ask… when you said my name, what did it feel like?” she asked me and our eyes met.(...)“Something like that. And you, what do you feel right now?” I asked her.





	Tell me you love me

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Tell me you love me](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/452939) by Sakura Hikari (my own account on Nyah!Fanfiction). 



> Before read my story, I think it's a good idea watch the video that inspires me to write this fanfic (alfred & aurora | tell me you love me, by SentenceFragments):  
>   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPdqSbX6PK8  
>   
> If you also want to know the lyrics before reading, here's a link:  
>   
> Tell me you love me - Boy Epic (lyrics)  
>   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL-LGmwjF78  
>   
> There are spoilers from seasons 1 and 2, specially S2E10 (August 19th).  
> 

I loved her since I saw her for the first time. As team leader, she was always tough-minded, decided. Being near her, even in the war, I could feel myself safe, I could feel like it was my home, I could see her in a blue shade that calmed me down and it made me believe that everything would be okay.

Although I knew how she was smart, strong and brave, I could see beyond that. I could see she was trying not to suffer with the death of her boyfriend René, but this had really affected her. I saw her laughing turn into grief for only a few moments before her armor protected her again. This grief made her to have the courage to kill Nazis or traitors, but at the same time, these acts didn’t relieve the weight she felt, nor the nervousness.

She has already calmed me down when I wanted to be able to forget the atrocities I’ll have forever carved in my memory, due to the synesthesia that mixes all my senses and makes me remember almost everything. I remember she asked me to focus on her until I calmed me down.

After a mission, when the weight and nervousness she was feeling had halted her from acting normally, she led me into an alley where she placed her hand over my heart and I over hers until our hearts beat at the same pace, until she could regain the control of herself.

Each mission, as we spend more time together, I learn more about her. I can feel the taste of her voice changing, depending on the situation. I can see her color changing, according to her feelings. I can feel when she lies. And I can also feel that she trusts me, to share her grief, to show me things that made her happy, like her trick of whistling like a bird and she tells me memories about René.

Although I realize how much she loved René, I can feel that she cares very much about me too, asking how I feel, helping me to deal with synesthesia, which she says is a gift, but before the war and before to know her, I considered it a curse.

However, now, with synesthesia, I can see her as no one does, I notice her in a unique way. I can remember everything I've passed through with her, forever, thanks to my memory that never forgets.

When I was caught in an ambush, I saw in her eyes that she wouldn’t kill me, despite the express orders for it, even though she was the sergeant and the team leader. It was because she loved me. And she couldn’t bear losing me, not when she still hadn’t cope with René's death.

To survive the tortures, I clung to my memories about her, not just the gray that prevents me from feeling pain. She gave me hope that somehow she and the team would find me again.

She gave me motivation to stay alive and made me understand my worth against Nazism. She saw that my skills could help to end up with the war, she helped me to find my motivation, the strength within me to do my best, the strength hidden within my weakness, behind my difficulties of dealing with the world, with the painful memories, with the fusions of my senses. With her blond hair like gold, like the dawn of the day, she represents the birth of a new life to me.

She helped me endure all this, although I felt her as something too powerful for me. I can’t say her name out loud.

She is the blue that calms me down, her voice has a sweet taste, that I’ll never be able to get sick of, her touch is gentle, soft, it sounds like a remarkable musical note, brief, accurate and beautiful.

Her name represents all she is, in her core. It's what I feel for her, with all my senses. Saying it out loud would be to feel everything that triggers off me, which is quite a lot, because I love her as I’ve never loved anyone.

When René and I were rescued, I saw how she was shaken when she saw the former team leader, the man she both admired and loved, being ashamed to see her again, to see how torture morph him into a shadow of the man he had been one day.

To make things worse, a short time later, she discovered he had made the Nazis aware of all of us, that he had given in to the tortures. And she still had to find the strength to take René's life herself to prevent him from being recaptured by the Nazis. As if that weren’t enough, she tried to carry this secret, this terrible burden on her own, because she thought that, as team leader, it was her duty not to feel.

I saw she was carrying an unbearable pain, I thought she was hiding something, but I imagined she was suffering loss René again, and this time, permanently. When I discovered the truth, I admired her even more for her strength, but I said she didn’t have to carry this on her own because she was part of a team and we had the right to know and the duty to help her to deal with it.

And I know even if she loves me, part of her heart will always belong to him. For all he meant to her. Because of the grief and the guilt she'll bear for the rest of her life. As if the weight of her responsibility to lead us wasn’t enough, having to keep a clear head and convey strength, courage and confidence to the whole team.

Everyone puts pressure on her, wanting her to lead us, to tell us why she didn’t shoot me to prevent me from being captured. She wouldn’t admit it was because she loves me. She still doesn’t feel ready to tell them. But if she tells me she loves me, it will be enough for me.

I know I can’t fix her, heal the wounds the war has left, but I can see a side of her that no one does, I can be her support when she needs and I know she will support me when I need, because she already has done this since we got to know one another.

I can understand her as no one does, seeing her colors, the taste of her voice and the music in her gestures. I can know her as no one does and I still respect her, seeing her strength and her weakness, seeing her humanity though she wants to be a tough-minded, resilient and brave person, but I know her with her fears, without walls that hides her from me, that hides who she really is.

I know when she denies she loves me, she is just trying to protect herself from the grief of another possible loss.

Recently, I was afraid of losing her. She had gone on her mission to infiltrate Franz Faber’s house, the Nazi who was watching our team in Paris, and for this reason she decided to gain the trust of his wife, Sabine. But our sergeant became too closer to Faber's wife and she really cared about the German woman, then, disguised among the lies, she told about the pain of killing someone she loved and she saw Sabine telling her that Faber had done the same with their own son, who had Down Syndrome and would be taken by the Nazis. Sharing their griefs made them identify even more with each other.

After that sharing of confidences, she went out with Sabine and she didn’t return to the arranged meeting point. She hoped she would come back as soon as she could, but I feared that Faber would see her and take her as his hostage, as he did with me and René. As the others in the team didn’t see her as I did, they thought she had joined Sabine and left us.

To put an end to this suspicion, I had to reveal I heard this conversation between the women and I had to talk to them about the burden our leader had secretly carried since René’s death. I talk to them about this to make them aware of what she was going through while she still kept on leading us and fulfilling her missions. For this reason, I believed that, despite she identifies herself with Sabine, our leader hadn’t abandoned us, but she had had problems trying to escape from Faber.

As I expected, she joined us in Dieppe and she apologized for being late and for not being the leader she would like to be.

While everyone was thinking if they would follow her on next mission, I approached her and I talked about my first mission with the team, in which the plane made a lot of noise and when we parachuted, I felt peace. A peace that came before new risks. And, despite we take risks all the time, her leadership kept us alive and united. She remembered that moment, agreeing with me about that feeling of peace.

“I’m glad you’re here, Alfred,” she said.

“Me too, _Aurora_ ,” I finally said, gathering all my strength wanting to demonstrate how much she meant to me, before we risked our lives again.

“You just said my name,” she said, still surprised and with a smile on her face.

And I only confirmed, still trying to deal with the effects of saying it out loud, with her giving me back a quick smile.

While we were talking, the others were discussing about her return, her importance as our leader, and they were considering the explanations of the latest events. After reflecting, everyone finally understood what had happened and she apologized for having acted in that way.

With the problems among team members solved, everyone decided to follow her again as sergeant and team leader, and I decided to support her as best as I could because she noticed I’m improving my spy skills and learning to deal with my synesthesia better than before.

After everything I've been through, I've found out I really can help her and I won’t be a burden. I'll fight next to her and I’ll support her when she needs.

That’s why I'm going with her to try to persuade Faber that he can be our ally, both for his own safety and for his wife's safety, because they know us. Besides that, as Faber knows he has to do horrible things and, at the same time, he ends up suffering to maintain his humanity, the goodness within him and his relationship with Sabine, he may ends up helping us.

While I’m thinking about all of these things, changing our clothes to the mission, she asks me to give her a hand to close her dress and we stand in front of a mirror, to finish dressing. At the same time, we reflect on the importance of trying to change Faber's loyalty. She asks me if I was afraid of the challenge we're going to face. I say that I wasn’t and she answers she wasn’t scared either, stating that people can surprise us.

Suddenly she turns slowly to face me, a little hesitant.

“Would it cross the line for me to ask… when you said my name, what did it feel like?” she asked me and our eyes met.

I'm astonished she is thinking about it during the mission and I realize that I won’t be able to explain it with words, so I try to make her understand me in my own way, feeling what I feel and maybe she can admit she feels the same for me.

So I approach her slowly, looking first to her lips and then into her eyes, touching her face gently.

 

_**Tell me you love me just one time**_  
_**Just give me one night**_  
_**I'll be the secret on your lips**_  
_**Let me be that one kiss**_  
_**If you fall**_  
_**Fall into my arms**_  
_**Come and fall**_  
_**Break down your walls**_  
_**And**_

 

As she didn’t move away, I gently kiss her, feeling as if I saw a rainbow, felt a pleasant scent, heard a song that makes me happy and finally I saw her in a blue shade again, being my safety, my safe place.

She closes her eyes slowly, trying to understand and retain this moment in her memories.

When she opens her eyes, I can see like thousand stars shined inside them, as if they shined by surprise and happiness.

 

_**Tell me you love me one time**_  
_**I can see the truth in your eyes**_  
_**Say you will**_  
_**Forget tomorrow and be with me tonight**_  
_**Just tell me you love me one time**_  
_**And this isn't goodbye**_

 

“Something like that. And you, what do you feel right now?” I asked her.

I want to hear her answer, she could admit what she really feels, she could spent some time with me, she could be herself, strong and sensitive at the same time, not needing to hide behind the walls she had put on herself.

 

_**I know I can't ask you to stay**_  
_**But I've stayed awake**_  
_**Now my eyes are open I won't miss a thing**_  
_**Here is my heart and I hope that's ok**_  
_**You are the one**_  
_**So if you fall**_  
_**Fall into my arms**_  
_**Come and fall**_  
_**Break down your walls**_  
_**And**_

 

“Know that I’ll always be here for you and, although I can’t heal your pain, I’ll help you to cope with it,” I continue.

She keeps looking at me, wondering what to tell me and how to do this, thinking about the consequences of her answer.

 

_**Tell me you love me one time**_  
_**I can see the truth in your eyes**_  
_**Say you will**_  
_**Forget tomorrow and be with me tonight**_  
_**Just tell me you love me one time**_

 

While I was waiting her answer, I take courage and keep talking to show everything I really feel for her.

“You changed my life, made me find out my worth, see who I can be. All my senses say that you’re very special to me. Please be honest with yourself. Tell me what you feel when I’m with you, the way you feel about me. Don’t be afraid.”

After hearing all I had to say, she takes a deep breath and begins to answer.

“Alfred, I… thank you for showing me how much I mean to you, I understand that maybe it’s too much for you say and do, but thank you for existing, for being you. I admire you a lot, I know you can look like weak, but actually you’re just discovering who you are,” she pauses, checking how I was reacting to her words.

I’m thankful to hear her saying what she thinks about me. I give her a smile, nod affirmatively and let her proceed at her own pace. I knew she loves me, I could see in her eyes, because I see her as no one does, I see her behind the armor, behind the walls she had put on herself to not suffer anymore.

 

_**Tell me you love me one time**_  
_**Just**_  
_**Tell me you love me one time**_

 

She then looks deep into my eyes and finally concludes her thought, smiling back at me.

“Thank you for allowing me to be myself, the Aurora few people see, but no one sees as you do. You know what I feel. _Je t'aime_. I love you.”

When she says that, she approaches me, touches my face affectionately, and kisses me. I feel the touch of her lips on mine as I see her in the colors of the rainbow, I hear a delightful musical note and I smell a pleasant scent until the colors stabilize in blue, a feeling that is only broken when we stop to breathe again.

At that moment, I put a lock of her blond hair behind her ear, causing her to keep looking at me gently.

“I love you too, _Aurora_ ,” I say.

I had already said her name once, after meeting her when she had escaped from Faber on my first attempt to express how much I loved her and how I was happy to see her again. Saying her name is still too much for me, but this time I needed to do it, to confirm that I loved her too, whereas when I pronounce her name, I feel her core, who she really is.

And reflecting on it, I think I would like to share my life with her, not only now, but also the rest of my days.

“You know... I wish the war was over, so we could stay together, without you being afraid of losing me and I being afraid of losing you too,” I say, revealing my thoughts out loud.

“Me too, Alfred, me too,” she says, hugging me. “But for now, knowing that you feel the same way I do, that we’re together in this, helps me to have the strength to continue with our goal of defeating Nazis and ending the war.”

I’m happy with the answer, seeing she has accepted the fact she loved me, but she remains realistic, focusing on our purpose, and then thinking about her personal desires, as is typical of her personality. Returning to the subject we had come to solve, she took her sergeant attitude again. Following her example, I also focus on the mission.

“Are you ready? We need to find Faber and trying to persuade him to help us, he’s our chance to change everything,” I say, thinking about the challenge we have ahead of us.

“Yes I am. And thank you for coming with me to try this. It means a lot to me, to see you overcoming your difficulties and helping me to be the strength and leadership I need to be,” she says, grateful for my presence not only in the team, but also for what I meant to her.

“I’ll always follow you and support you. Now, let’s go, the others count on us and hope we can persuade Faber,” I conclude.

So, we go to the vicinity of Sabine and Franz Faber’s house, expecting to find in him a potential ally, because we’ve seen he’s not a completely evil and sadistic man, but also someone trying to follow orders, trying not to feel, trying to protect his wife and to maintain his humanity, what doesn’t make him very different from us, spies, that work to help the Allies to win the war and to defend the ideals we believe.

As he doesn’t approve everything in Nazism, he could end up joining those who don’t support this regime, to be able to live in a world in which he doesn’t have to lose his humanity and the people he cares most. In other words, he wants the same as we, allied spies, want. A world where we can live in peace with those we love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fanfiction, I hope you had enjoyed! If you want, please let comments/kudos, it helps me to know what you think about my story.
> 
> P.S.: English isn't my mother tongue, so if you find something wrong and want to tell me, I'll try to correct it.
> 
>  
> 
> Hugs and kisses,
> 
> SakuraHikari =)


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